


The Off Chance

by babykpats



Series: Mickey's Emotional Constipation [2]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-30
Updated: 2014-09-30
Packaged: 2018-02-19 08:59:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2382548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babykpats/pseuds/babykpats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mickey loves Ian and he finally gets to show it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Off Chance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flazy2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flazy2/gifts), [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts), [AR](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=AR), [bellafarella](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellafarella/gifts), [Mary](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mary/gifts), [AlphaWolf_x](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlphaWolf_x/gifts), [charleeluciano](https://archiveofourown.org/users/charleeluciano/gifts).



> I fucking cried while writing this.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who demanded a sequel to Five Seconds. You can read this on its own though so...
> 
> hop to it!

Mickey woke up to Ian doing tiny little laps around their apartment.

“The fuck?”

“Hi!” Ian did a lap. “Morning!” Another lap. “Breakfast?” And another lap.

Mickey watched Ian and held out his hand the same moment that Ian was approaching him. He caught Ian in his arms then they tumbled together from the speed that Ian was going.

They both wound up on the floor with Mickey on top of Ian.

Mickey looked at Ian’s face. He was sweaty, his hair was stuck to his head and he had dark circles under his slightly swollen eyes.

“Did you sleep?” Mickey didn’t move from his position on top of Ian.

“Yeah.”

Mickey just looked at Ian.

“30 minutes.” Ian shrugged.

Mickey sighed. “Why the fuck are you trying to start your own little tornado?”

“I just haven’t worked out in a while.”

Mickey knew there was more to this so he kept quiet.

Ian sighed heavily. “It’s just that, last night when I, you know, you weren’t even, you know.” Ian’s eyes were anywhere but on Mickey’s face.

Mickey saw a droplet land on their carpet and he knew that wasn’t sweat.

“What?” Mickey was worried now.

“Can you at least let me up?”

Mickey didn’t budge.

“Fine. Are you still attracted to me?” Ian suddenly found the legs of their couch extremely interesting.

“Why’d you gotta ask stupid shit like that?”

“Cause of last night!”

“You’ve stayed up the whole fucking night working out cause you think that I don’t think you’re hot anymore?”

“Maybe.”

Mickey wanted to say that Ian is the hottest shit that he’s ever seen. That Ian doesn’t even need to work out or do anything, for that matter, Mickey will always be attracted to Ian. But all that came out was, “Are you fucking dumb?”

Ian gathered all his strength and pushed Mickey off. He went into their room and locked the door.

“Shit.” Mickey whispered to himself.

~

Mickey woke up the next day on their couch.

He looked at the door to their bedroom and it was still closed. Mickey sighed. Ian has been in their bedroom the whole day yesterday. He didn’t even come out to eat. Mickey had to shove Pop Tarts under the door cause that was the only thing that would fit.

The door suddenly opened a little and Mickey saw Ian peeking through.

“I have to shit.” Ian whispered quietly and quickly made his way to the bathroom.

Mickey sighed and got up and started making waffles.

By the time Ian left the bathroom, Mickey had two plates of waffles and maple syrup on the table.

Ian looked at the food. He was still pissed at Mickey but he was also really hungry so he sat down across from Mickey and got the syrup, carefully pouring some syrup into each and every hole of the waffle.

Mickey wanted to apologize but his mouth won’t cooperate with his brain. He was gearing up to apologize and when he was ready, he looked up and saw Ian bringing his plate to the sink and walking back to their bedroom.

Mickey remained frozen until he heard the lock of their bedroom click.

Mickey quickly walked towards the door and knocked loudly. “Can you fucking open the door?!”

Ian opened the door. “What?” He looked at Mickey expectantly.

Mickey was racking his brain for the words to say.

Ian lost his patience and slammed the door, sitting on the floor and leaning against it.

Mickey did the same on his side of the door.

Mickey didn’t know what to do. He knew what he had to say, he knew what he wanted to say but saying it was a whole different thing and it freaks him out!

He kept on thinking of a way for Ian to just know what he wants to say without having to actually say it.

Mickey got an idea.

Mickey knocked on their bedroom door lightly. “Can you give me a pen and some paper?”

Ian didn’t know what Mickey was up to but he was curious so he went to their small desk and grabbed a pen and some paper and slid it under the door.

Mickey bent down and started writing.

After a couple of hours, he slid pieces of paper under the door and waited.

 

_Dear Firecrotch._

 Ian smiled and wiped off the remnants of his tears from earlier.

_I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’m kind of shit when it comes to talking about emotions and all that shit. And I know that it’s not your favorite thing about me._

Ian scoffed.

_It’s kind of unfair for you cause you’re like a fucking open book. Whatever you feel you have the balls to just fucking say it and I’m not like that._

_Whatever I feel, I keep it inside and bury it deep until I forgot that I ever felt it before._

_But I figured that right now, you really fucking need to hear what I feel cause obviously, not hearing it is hurting you a lot and I don’t wanna do that shit to you._

Tears started gathering in Ian’s eyes but this time, it came with a smile.

_I’m already doing this anyway so I might as well start from the fucking top._

_The first time I saw you, I’m not gonna lie, I thought you looked weird._

Ian laughed.

_You looked like a fucking Mr. Potato Head. You had long scraggly limbs that didn’t look like they belonged to your body._

_Not to mention the first time we fucked. You had a huge ass dick that didn’t look proportional to the rest of you._

Mickey heard Ian laugh through the door and it made Mickey smile.

_Oh and remember when you came to my house when your mom came back. I was pissed at first cause my dad was there and he could shoot you and all that but when I saw you and you were crying, I was ready to kick someone’s ass for making you cry. No shit._

_Then you had to go shove your huge dick into that fucking towelhead and I was jealous. Fuck. I was jealous. Apart from getting shot, I was damn glad that he saw us fucking cause I figured, now he knows that he ain’t the only one._

_And when I got shot and you fucking held my face like a little bitch, it made me feel warm and happy and all that shit._

A few drops of tears found its way onto the paper. Ian couldn’t hold back his smile either.

_And don’t even get me fucking started when you visited me in juvie. Just seeing a glimpse of your bright red hair, I fucking swore I was gonna have a heart attack._

_When you said you missed me I thought, what the fuck is wrong with this kid?_

_It was the first time I saw how fucking honest and open you are and I thought, this kid’s gonna get his ass kicked one day._

_Don’t make a fucking big deal about the next thing I’m gonna say, okay? But when I realized that one day someone was gonna kick your ass for being so fucking honest, I told myself I was gonna be there to stop that from happening._

Ian dropped the papers. He couldn’t read anymore cause his eyes were full of tears. He got up and opened the door.

Mickey was suddenly up and in his face. “You read it all?”

“No I just need some tissue cause-”

Mickey suddenly pushed him into the room and closed the door.

“What the fuck?”

After a couple of seconds, he saw some tissue being slipped under the door.

“Don’t fucking come out until you read it all, Gallagher.”

“Fine!”

Ian sat back down and picked up where he left off.

_When I got out and you were there with Mandy I thought, daaammnn! I’m not shitting you I think my dick was celebrating the moment I laid my eyes on you._

Mickey heard the fullest and realest laugh he’s heard from Ian in a while, through the door.

_I couldn’t tell you how I felt though. Cause I had to be tough and shit. But damn, after that whole time in juvie, your dick up my ass was fucking heaven. This time, I said I wasn’t gonna do any shit that will keep me from you anymore._

_But then we had to go get caught by Frank, of all the people._

_And I’m gonna tell you something. Something I’ve never told anyone before._

_I was scared._

_Yeah, I was fucking scared that Frank would go blabbing about me being a fag and all that shit but beyond that, I was scared that I wouldn’t get his approval. Like he would say I wasn’t good enough for you. I mean you’re you and I’m, well, me. And yeah, he’s fucking Frank but shit man, he’s still your dad and I got scared that he might not like me._

_So what do I do? I fucking plot to kill him._

_But when I was behind him, gun in my hand, I thought about you. How you would never forgive me if I killed your dad. About how your sisters and brothers would hate my guts and how we could never be, you know… together if I shot Frank._

_So I punched a cop instead._

_Cause I figured, being away from you for a year would be better than being away from you for-fucking-ever._

_When I was in juvie, I waited for you._

_I waited for you to come and see me but you didn’t so I figured, you were mad at me and that fucking ate me up._

_It was driving me crazy, Gallagher. Everyday I’d wait for someone to tell me I had a visitor. Every fucking day. But I didn’t get shit._

_For a time, I thought we were done. I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me. And for the first time in a long while, I felt completely alone._

_Fucking alone and I hated it._

Ian wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He wanted to open the door and hug Mickey and apologize for everything but he just kept reading.

_But then it’s like a switch went off in my brain. I wasn’t gonna go down without a fight. After I got out, I looked for you. I was hell-bent on getting you back but when I saw you fucking an Asian kid under the bleachers, I realized something that fucking killed me._

_I never really had you. You were never really mine._

_I wanted to walk away but come on, that Asian kid was just asking to get his ass kicked._

_And when it was just the two of us under the bleachers, it slipped. I accidentally told you I missed you. I didn’t know if you missed me and the last thing I wanted was to hear some half-assed ‘I miss you’ from you so I spewed bullshit about not getting a dick up my ass._

_That wasn’t true Gallagher, I missed you. I fucking missed you. And not just your giant dick but your face and your smile and your eyes and even your fucking feet._

_I fucking missed you._

_After that whole shit show, things actually went back to normal. We fuck, we talk and we fuck again. Now, don’t get me wrong, that was great but I wanted more._

_I fucking wanted you, Gallagher._

_I spent a shitload of nights figuring out how to ask you but I didn’t know how. I didn’t know how to fucking ask you to be mine._

_So I didn’t._

Ian leaned his head back against the door. It was all too much. But he wanted to continue so he wiped his eyes and stared back at Mickey’s handwriting.

_Then we got separated again. You were fucking taken away from me again. I almost punched a hole through my door when I found out you had to go to some dumbshit group home._

_You have any fucking idea how many times I walked outside your house seeing if you were back home yet?_

_I was driving myself crazy._

_But thank God my sister’s a slut and got you out of the home._

_When you spent the night at my place, I didn’t even sleep. I just watched you cause I didn’t know when I’d get the chance to just watch you fucking breathe._

_How fucked up is that?_

_And then my dad found out._

_Every time I remember your face looking at me when that whore was bouncing up and down my dick, I wanted to kill someone._

_I fucked her just to get it over with._

_I wasn’t even scared of my dad anymore. I was just scared you’d leave me._

_I remember that very morning when I figured out my plan._

_I was gonna pack up and go. I was standing outside your house at asscrack o clock in the morning. The sun wasn’t even out yet but I was there like a fucking stalker._

_I asked you if you’d leave this shit place with me._

_And it took both my balls and a couple bottles of beer to muster up the courage to ask you that but I did._

_And I said to myself that if you’d say no, then I’ll just go back home and face whatever shit my dad has in store for me because even though you turned me down, I still have to be there for you to kick asses if anyone hurt you._

_But you said yes._

_And now we’re here._

_And I thought that when you said yes it was sort of unspoken that we’re not seeing anybody else anymore. But I guess it doesn’t work that way._

_Last night, I just… I saw the fucking hickey and I couldn’t erase the picture in my head of you with someone else._

_I thought that you were finally mine._

_But you weren’t and it killed me._

_It fucking killed me, Gallagher._

_I fucking cried._

_I didn’t cry when I found out about you and towelhead. I didn’t cry when you were fucking that Asian kid. I didn’t cry when you got taken away to the fucking group home. I didn’t cry when you didn’t visit me in juvie, the second time. Hell, I didn’t even cry when my dad found out and beat the crap out of me._

_But seeing that one hickey, it just ripped my heart out of my fucking body._

_And now you’re talking some shit about not being hot enough for me. What the fuck Gallagher._

_You’re the only person I’ve been with ever since that first time you walked into my room with a fucking tire iron._

_You’ve been the only one since then._

_Not Angie Zago._

_No one in juvie._

_It was just you._

_You are fucking hot, Gallagher. And one day you’re gonna figure out that you’re worth a lot more than the stupid shit I can give you._

_But until then, I’m gonna hold onto you for as long as I can._

_When you find someone else, I ain’t letting you go easily. I’m gonna fucking fight and I don’t even care if fighting for you gets me killed cause, shit, I don’t think I can live without having you in my life._

_If you want to fuck other people, that’s fine. Just tell them not to leave a mark and take a fucking shower before you come to me, okay?_

_Just do that so I can fucking pretend that I get to have you all to myself._

_It's gonna hurt like hell but,_

_Shit._

_I love you, Ian._

_And if this is what you want, then I guess I can deal with that._

Ian was bawling his eyes out.

He already was shaking when he read the last few words that Mickey wrote. He had no idea all that was going through Mickey’s head.

He couldn’t stop himself from crying.

“Mick?” He whispered quietly through the tears.

A slip of paper appeared under the door. “Just one more, Gallagher.”

Ian picked it up and read it.

_On the off chance that you don’t want to fuck other people…_

_Can I have you all to myself?_

_Will you be my boyfriend?_

Ian lost it. He started sobbing and curled up into himself on the floor.

“Gallagher! Are you okay? Shit. Forget the last paper. Forget you read it. Shit. Shit. Just throw it all away. Fuck. Gallagher!!” Mickey was pounding on the door.

Ian got up and unlocked the door and opened it.

“Look, just forget what I wrote on the last one, okay? Just fucking forget it.” Mickey had his head down and started walking away.

“Yes, you stupid shit!” Ian said.

Mickey turned around so fast. “What?”

“I said yes. Yes and I’m sorry. For everything. Last night was nothing. I just wanted to make you jealous cause-”

Mickey didn’t care. He kissed his Ian on the lips and held him close.

Ian was his boyfriend.

Ian was finally his.


End file.
